Taking a Deep Breath

I took my name off this Substack URL and profile. But, rest assured, it’s still me. Let me explain.

Back in December 2025 when I started this Substack, I was writing about the NIH after having left my job as a Program Official for 22 years. I was (and am) still grieving and processing the loss of my career and also of the agency as I knew it. I began writing as a form of therapy and truth telling. I never imaged so many people would be interested in what I had to say.

On May 28, 2026 Russell Vought published his draft OMB rule, a rewrite of 2 CFR Part 200, the Uniform Guidance that has governed federal grants management for over a decade. I downloaded it immediately and began reading and highlighting the horrors contained within. The proposal would convert that guidance, which agencies have historically implemented with some flexibility, into binding regulation across every grantmaking agency in the federal government. It touches nearly $1.1 trillion in annual federal spending. The rule would formally hand political appointees’ authority to review and approve discretionary grants before they’re issued (2 CFR 200.205), expand agencies’ power to terminate or suspend grants already underway whenever a project no longer serves “agency priorities” (2 CFR 200.340), and let agencies weigh an applicant’s “institutional practices, affiliations and risk indicators,” in funding decisions (2 CFR 200.206) rather than financial and technical merit.

I was horrified. I knew this would be devastating to scientists who rely on NIH funding for their research. It’s why I wrote a Substack article titled “Summary of Key Changes in OMB’s Proposed Federal Financial Assistance Rule.” I was hoping to inform the people who needed to know. I never expected this essay to go viral and get 156,917 views.

Following publication of that OMB essay, I faced a deluge of emails and DMs across multiple social platforms. I was contacted by over 40 different journalist and by literally hundreds of people who want to talk to me, interview me, invite me on podcasts, and ask me all manner of technical questions about the OMB rule. I participated in about 12 different webinars to educate folks about the proposed rule and how to write an effective comment opposing it. This unwitting “fame” also led to me being invited to testify in a congressional hearing. If you’re new here and don’t know about it, then you can read more about that in this Substack essay. Between the OMB rule craziness and the congressional hearing, the flood gates opened. I began receiving hundreds of messages a day and even phone calls at my home. Some were violent and threatening, others were simply bizarre, and yes, many were positive. But it was all way too much for me. I never started this Substack with the idea of becoming famous. I never expected to have my life threatened.

This is why I have removed my name. It’s too late to put the toothpaste back in the tube, but I can try to minimize my footprint on the internet a bit. I am not making money on this venture. I receive no benefits. I still have been unable to find a full-time job after leaving the NIH over a year ago. My household finances are strained. My mental health is still not 100%. Having my name plastered all over social media created personal risks that I am unwilling to tolerate. I hope you understand.

I may continue to post about the NIH to the extent that it makes sense when I have something informative to offer beyond what you are hearing in the news. But I need to take a step back and take care of myself first. To all of you who have been encouraging and supportive, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.